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<channel>
	<title>.: a silly girl in a bear suit :.</title>
	<atom:link href="http://stuffedbeargirl.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml" />
	<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com</link>
	<description></description>
	<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:19:46 +0000</pubDate>
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	<language>en</language>
			<item>
		<title>Smiles and laughter and chicken alfredo</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/smiles-and-laughter-and-chicken-alfredo</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/smiles-and-laughter-and-chicken-alfredo#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2008 13:19:46 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[loki]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=247</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
Jarren played the master chef last night, hoping to be romantic. It was delicious.
We&#8217;ve been fighting a lot lately, but hopefully we&#8217;re done with that. At least for a while. Work is kicking my ass, my shifts are fairly long, which is good. I mean, I&#8217;m learning a lot and makin&#8217; &#8216;dat cash, I just [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2687344929/" title="Chicken and Rosemary Alfredo by stuffed bear girl, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3227/2687344929_e3192b575c.jpg" width="333" height="500" alt="Chicken and Rosemary Alfredo" /></a></center></p>
<p>Jarren played the master chef last night, hoping to be romantic. It was delicious.</p>
<p>We&#8217;ve been fighting a lot lately, but hopefully we&#8217;re done with that. At least for a while. Work is kicking my ass, my shifts are fairly long, which is good. I mean, I&#8217;m learning a lot and makin&#8217; &#8216;dat cash, I just get a little tired, you know?</p>
<p>(For the record, Loki escaped the night before last, but he&#8217;s home now, and cuddling with me.)</p>
<p>Other than all of that, life is good. Rolling at a steady pace and just sort of rockin&#8217; out.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Learning is never easy.</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/learning-is-never-easy</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/learning-is-never-easy#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 15 Jul 2008 19:11:35 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[human nature]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[public photography]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=246</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
I&#8217;m learning new things about my camera every time I pick it up, which is fantastic, and I&#8217;ve been thinking about trying to get some of my new stuff looked at by professionals to get a few pointers.
But at the same time I&#8217;m starting to think that doing it on my own may be a [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2140/2671877030_802ec92804.jpg?v=0"></center></p>
<p>I&#8217;m learning new things about my camera every time I pick it up, which is fantastic, and I&#8217;ve been thinking about trying to get some of my new stuff looked at by professionals to get a few pointers.</p>
<p>But at the same time I&#8217;m starting to think that doing it on my own may be a better way to really hone my skills.</p>
<p>I mean, can you call yourself a photographer, if you are self taught?<br />
A cook?<br />
A dancer?<br />
An actor?</p>
<p>I&#8217;m afraid of losing that edge that comes with <b>not</b> knowing all about something. I&#8217;m afraid of falling into the, &#8220;Well, if someone who knows more about it tells me it&#8217;s so, then it must be!&#8221; mentality. I think I&#8217;ll hold off for a while, and just take a little while longer &#8220;not knowing&#8221;, and we&#8217;ll see what comes from that.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Moo Grapaow</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/moo-grapaow</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/moo-grapaow#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:55:36 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[her family]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=245</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My mother cracks me up.
Alright, I&#8217;m sitting in the living room, right? And my phone rings. It&#8217;s Mom. We talk for a few minutes before she says, &#8220;Oh no! My battery is dying. I&#8217;ll talk to you later, okay?&#8221; We hang up. Two minutes later my phone starts ringing, &#8220;Hey, it&#8217;s me again. I&#8217;m calling [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>My mother cracks me up.</p>
<p>Alright, I&#8217;m sitting in the living room, right? And my phone rings. It&#8217;s Mom. We talk for a few minutes before she says, &#8220;Oh no! My battery is dying. I&#8217;ll talk to you later, okay?&#8221; We hang up. Two minutes later my phone starts ringing, &#8220;Hey, it&#8217;s me again. I&#8217;m calling from your Dad&#8217;s phone.&#8221; We talk for a few more minutes until, &#8220;What? This one&#8217;s dying too. What is it with our phones?&#8221; We hang up a second time.</p>
<p>A half hour later my mom&#8217;s number is showing up on the display again, &#8220;Oh hi. So, we&#8217;re at this Thai restaurant and I wanted to know what you made for me when I came up last time.&#8221;</p>
<p>Me: Moo grapaow.<br />
Mom: What was that?<br />
Me: *repeats*<br />
Mom: Okay. Well, here. These are the things we have. *she lists a bunch of menu items*<br />
Me: Well, what you&#8217;re describing are <i>restaurant</i> style foods, whereas I made you <i>market</i> style.<br />
[insert background chatter]<br />
Me: &#8230;uh, Mom?<br />
Mom: Here, just listen to my daughter.<br />
Waiter: Uh&#8230;hello?<br />
Me: Oh&#8230;hai.<br />
Waiter: &#8230;hi.<br />
Me: Okay, so my mom is looking for [insert description].<br />
Waiter: Oh! We have something like that. Just fine, yes, here you go.<br />
Mom: Thanks, dear.<br />
Me: No problem, Mom.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>No! I&#8217;m not dead. =D</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/no-im-not-dead-d</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/no-im-not-dead-d#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 11 Jul 2008 23:08:28 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[dye job]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[fake holidays]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[materialism]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[public photography]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[seasons]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[vlog]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[digital rebel]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[digital rebel xti]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[new camera]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=244</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I&#8217;ve just been really, really, really, really, really, extremely busy lately.
New and amazing developments include:
+ My 22nd birthday.
+ ]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I&#8217;ve just been really, really, really, really, really, extremely busy lately.</p>
<p>New and amazing developments include:</p>
<p>+ My 22nd birthday.<br />
+ <3 of my new job<br />
+ I've been v-logging up a storm for <a href="http://youtube.com/user/lifeaccordingtous">L.A.t.U</a><br />
+ A shitty hair cut<br />
+ A return to red hair</p>
<p><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/3WyzeiGGu_Q&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/3WyzeiGGu_Q&#038;hl=en&#038;fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object></p>
<p>And there was something else&#8230;what was it&#8230;oh come on now&#8230;hmmmmmm, OH YEAH!</p>
<p>I GOT MY FUCKING CAMERA TODAY!<br />
THE DIGITAL REBEL XT-FUCKING-I!<br />
I AM SO EXCITED IT&#8217;S RIDICULOUS!</p>
<p>That said, enjoy these and I promise I&#8217;m back for good.</p>
<p><center><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3176/2659115728_e1c01287b5.jpg"><br />
Meet Dante</p>
<p><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3075/2658421751_43c477a257.jpg"><br />
Jungle King</p>
<p><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3183/2659368795_c288223894.jpg"><br />
Herbivore</p>
<p><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3101/2658458413_7c6cf67c19.jpg"><br />
Our Background</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>A gift from the heavens</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/a-gift-from-the-heavens</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/a-gift-from-the-heavens#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 03 Jun 2008 21:02:50 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[little miracles]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[the internetz]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=243</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have so many things to say, and I&#8217;ve avoided posting until all of it panned out. I didn&#8217;t want to jinx this change, because it&#8217;s moments like this that can alter the course of a person&#8217;s future. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait to see how life is treating you, you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have so many things to say, and I&#8217;ve avoided posting until all of it panned out. I didn&#8217;t want to jinx this change, because it&#8217;s moments like this that can alter the course of a person&#8217;s future. Sometimes you just have to be patient and wait to see how life is treating you, you know?</p>
<p>Anyway, after all the talk about Mr. Cizma messaging me I freaked out to my roommates. I mean, come on! I was stoked, right? Turns out that one of them knows him, and just happened to mention the whole thing while at work. He (Mr. Cizma) gave Jei (my roomie) his card and asked me to e-mail the full size pork photo- so I did. I mean, of course I did! In that e-mail I mentioned that I had been planning on applying, which made it really ironic that all of this was happening. </p>
<p>He e-mailed me back saying:</p>
<blockquote><p>Hi Nicole. Thanks for the email and pictures .</p>
<p>If you are still planning on applying tomorrow , call my assistant to set up an interview. I have some morning and afternoon appointments  open.</p>
<p>Cheers</p></blockquote>
<p>So I phoned and left a message on his voicemail. Ten minutes later <i>he</i> phoned me back. Ted Cizma. On my phone. I was kind of shocked in that I expected his assistant, but apparently she had forwarded all of his calls straight to his phone. We set up the interview (this was yesterday) at one in the afternoon. It went really well. He told me a lot of things, and offered a lot of personal insight into the world of the commercial kitchen. </p>
<p>I was awed and honored to be there, really. And at that point it didn&#8217;t matter to me whether or not I was offered a position. I was sitting in the presence of a culinary mind that had been recognized by his peers and the rest of the world as a master of his craft. </p>
<p>But he did offer me a position. A full time spot, working one of the resort&#8217;s restaurants named Sweetwater. I&#8217;ll be scheduled to work breakfast, lunch and dinner shifts, offering me the opportunity to experience all aspects of the kitchen.</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll be putting my two weeks in at Bob Evans tomorrow. It is unfortunate that it didn&#8217;t work out quite the way I&#8217;d hoped. Especially as it seems even more complications have arisen. One of my co-workers is out for a few weeks and my GM expects me to close five nights a week. And he didn&#8217;t ask me. That&#8217;s the part that gets me. He phoned and said, &#8220;By the way, Lance is going to be gone for a few weeks, so&#8230;I&#8217;ll need to close every night you work from now on. At least for a while. And I guess I really am going to have to hire someone new.&#8221; </p>
<p>This whole thing is just sort of falling in my lap. Which is more than exciting and terrifying at the same time. I&#8217;m glad I got the time in at Bob Evans that I did. It was helpful and helped me learn that a kitchen is where I&#8217;m meant to be. And now I am moving on to something bigger and better. The pay is higher, and I couldn&#8217;t pay for better experience. I&#8217;m nervous, though. Bob Evans is really relaxed, whereas something like Sweetwater will obviously be a much higher caliber stop. </p>
<p>But I&#8217;m determined to do it and do it well. This is the chance I was hoping for and I&#8217;ll be damned if I screw it up.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>It&#8217;s a small, small world.</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/its-a-small-small-world</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/its-a-small-small-world#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 31 May 2008 14:20:59 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[fake holidays]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[foodie]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[little miracles]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[public photography]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=242</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Oh man! You will never believe what just happened to me!
I pulled my yummr page up and this was sitting in my inbox:
Great shot of the belly. Glad you liked aerie. You have to try our new oxtail
&#038; tuna &#8220;surf n turf&#8221;
Ted
tcizma@gtresort.com
()
TED CIZMA! TED EFFING CIZMA! The guy that wrote the menu at the resort?! [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Oh man! You will never believe what just happened to me!</p>
<p>I pulled my yummr page up and this was sitting in my inbox:</p>
<p><i>Great shot of the belly. Glad you liked aerie. You have to try our new oxtail<br />
&#038; tuna &#8220;surf n turf&#8221;</p>
<p>Ted<br />
tcizma@gtresort.com</i></p>
<p><center>(<a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2494392961/" title="Pork Belly by miss chef, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2396/2494392961_27eeca9bc4.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Pork Belly" /></a>)</center></p>
<p>TED CIZMA! TED EFFING CIZMA! The guy that wrote the menu at the resort?! The guy that was named Food and Wine&#8217;s Top New Chef in 2000! The guy that has worked for multi million dollar restaurants! YEAH! THAT GUY SENT ME A MESSAGE THAT HE LIKED MY PHOTO OF HIS FOOD!</p>
<p>AND GAVE ME SUGGESTIONS AS TO WHAT TO TRY NEXT TIME!</p>
<p>*OMGSWOON*</p>
<p>Man, it&#8217;s feels like Christmas.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Another picture post: At the beach</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/another-picture-post-at-the-beach</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/another-picture-post-at-the-beach#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 26 May 2008 18:16:40 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[public photography]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=241</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[

(I love this photo.)

]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2524429521/" title="I could be a model, bi-atch. by stuffed bear girl, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2151/2524429521_300f001f61.jpg" width="500" height="472" alt="I could be a model, bi-atch." /></a></p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2524433101/" title="Jaa what? by stuffed bear girl, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3066/2524433101_4f7fa7c733.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Jaa what?" /></a><br />
(I love this photo.)</p>
<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2524436839/" title="Perfect Together by stuffed bear girl, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3080/2524436839_2794fc5bb5.jpg" width="500" height="375" alt="Perfect Together" /></a><center></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Hopelessly devoted to you</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/hopelessly-devoted-to-you</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/hopelessly-devoted-to-you#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 May 2008 15:48:23 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=240</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[
For all the fighting we did I think Jarren and I had a great day yesterday. We sat down and really talked through some of our problems. We both made sacrifices in hopes of bettering our future together and I think I love him more today than I ever have before, if that&#8217;s even remotely [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/tomorrowcanwait/2518826456/" title="This Book Will Change Your Life by stuffed bear girl, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3022/2518826456_eaf523a4de.jpg" width="375" height="500" alt="This Book Will Change Your Life" /></a></center></p>
<p>For all the fighting we did I think Jarren and I had a great day yesterday. We sat down and really talked through some of our problems. We both made sacrifices in hopes of bettering our future together and I think I love him more today than I ever have before, if that&#8217;s even remotely possible (which, to be honest, it&#8217;s not). </p>
<p>So after we both got home from work we went to Meijer and did some grocery shopping, came home and hung out (also read: GOOD SEX) at which point one thirty rolled around. We were both tired and needed sleep, but, and some of you may not know this, Jarren used to suffer from night terrors as a child. Like, intense, full blown, his mother would walk in to his room and he was sitting up and screaming while still asleep, terrors. He hasn&#8217;t had one in a long time, but even now, sleeping next to him, he gets tense, twitches and makes loud gasping or moaning noises while he sleeps. I worry about him constantly. So when he said to me, &#8220;I feel weird tonight&#8230;like I might have another terror,&#8221; I was determined to stay up.</p>
<p>He went and got the &#8220;This Book Will Change Your Life&#8221; book and we read through some of it (see above photo). Then we started looking for apartments so whenever we end up moving we&#8217;ll be able to have an idea of what&#8217;s going on. Who knows when it will be, but it was exciting to be doing it together at three in the morning. Eventually (about five) we tried to get to sleep again, and it seems to have worked. It&#8217;s now almost noon and Jarren is still in and out of sleep, which, might I add, is fucking adorable. </p>
<p>I guess I&#8217;m just in love. Totally, madly and helplessly in love. I&#8217;m willing to do the things I have to, change the things I need to, and work with him as best I can to make this work. And I know he feels that same way. It&#8217;s amazing how incredible it feels to start letting go of all the fear I&#8217;ve carried for so long and really open up. Absolutely amazing.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>My King</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/my-king</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/my-king#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Sat, 24 May 2008 15:25:30 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[intimacy]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[just me]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=238</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[I have this thing for pet names, especially the guys that I date. For different reasons they all have a name that just comes and sticks. Sometimes I have to go through more than before I find the right one, and sometimes the meaning is misunderstood by everyone else that hears/sees it, but that&#8217;s okay, [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>I have this thing for pet names, especially the guys that I date. For different reasons they all have a name that just comes and sticks. Sometimes I have to go through more than before I find the right one, and sometimes the meaning is misunderstood by everyone else that hears/sees it, but that&#8217;s okay, because I know deep down that I know what&#8217;s right.</p>
<p>Now, most of these have a &#8220;My&#8221; at the front. It&#8217;s not a possession thing, but more pride. Well, for a long time, almost since we met, Jarren has been called &#8220;My Darkness&#8221;, but that&#8217;s something that comes from one of my RP character. From now on, officially and happily, I have named and will refer to him on occasion, as &#8220;My King&#8221;. Both because I like it, and it&#8217;s his last name. I think it fits him and us better than &#8220;Darkness&#8221;.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Sometimes there is no going back.</title>
		<link>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/sometimes-there-is-no-going-back</link>
		<comments>http://stuffedbeargirl.com/sometimes-there-is-no-going-back#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 23 May 2008 15:45:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Nicole Lee</dc:creator>
		
		<category><![CDATA[heartache]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[my king]]></category>

		<category><![CDATA[phobias and fears]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://stuffedbeargirl.com/?p=236</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[My heart has broken into a million pieces,
and I can&#8217;t seem to collect them.
There is a new wall, a fresh, clean, strong wall
that is being built so high no one will breach it.
Maybe not even myself,
and that&#8217;s all I can hope.
]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><center>My heart has broken into a million pieces,<br />
and I can&#8217;t seem to collect them.</p>
<p>There is a new wall, a fresh, clean, strong wall<br />
that is being built so high no one will breach it.</p>
<p>Maybe not even myself,<br />
and that&#8217;s all I can hope.</center></p>
]]></content:encoded>
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